Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Where in the world is Lipton T. Bagg?

Recent theories have circulated the internet. Some theorize that he has been abducted by a roving band of sex-crazed women. Others speculate that he went Gary Brooks Faulkner on us. Other, less reliable reports claim that he finds the thongs on those Florida beaches more interesting than blogging.

My personal theory is that he is just on a bender, having not been free from the intense scrutiny of The One Who Must Be Obeyed in quite a while. Once the newness of being totally sloshed gets old, hopefully after a week or two, he will come crawling back and show his pretty mug, and maybe even post an update.

What’s your theory?

John Doe


  1. They seek him here, they seek him there
    Those Frenchies seek him everywhere
    Is he in heaven or is he in hell?
    That demned elusive Pimpernel


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  3. John: I think it's up to us to join, er, rescue him.

  4. Bob, here's my suggestion: Let's retrace his footsteps. Last he said he was going to the west coast of Florida. Google BEST DAMN BAR IN FLORIDA. No, scratch that. CHEAPEST BAR IN FLORIDA. Pick the top ten on the west coast and the panhandle. Let's start there and work down.